Our lives are constantly consumed with "do this" and "do that's." What often seems to follow, I think, is "what if?" What if I take that promotion? What if I break up with him? What will happen if I don't go across the bar and say hi to that drag queen I've worked with before? Will she think I'm a bitch? (chances are, Yes...just kidding).
Further inquiries wanted to know how I do this and what exactly I do during this. For me I believe there is no right or wrong way to meditate (*note some people seem to be uneasy with this word meditate. We all do it. Some of us call it prayer. Others call it talking to yourself.) The one thing, though, I explained is that a negative thought or idea can never come across your brain. She (again I say "she" for those of you who aren't familiar with the drag scene....this is actually a guy....a female impersonator. We just call each other that.... among other names!), really thought this was impossible. I told her it was for awhile. Try this. Simply sit for 5 minutes and try to not have a negative thought, worry, negative action come across your brain. It is a little hard, but with practice you will be able to do this.
I saw myself doing this a lot. I was consumed with the "what if's" and senseless worrying.
Over the past few months my husband and I have embarked on a new journey in our lives; one that will continue until we take our last breath. A few friends and family members do not know what to think, or how to act around us or feel weird being around us; as if we have become these new people. Well...in all honesty, we have. We have changed a few things and ways in our lives.
We will celebrate our 7 year anniversary later this fall; the longest either of us have ever been in a relationship. We certainly have given each other a run for the money, but each time we grow stronger and stronger! Wholeheartedly I could not imagine my life without him.... He is my rock. My best friend. My #1 fan. My voice of reason (when I reeeaalllyy don't want to hear it!). We balance each other out.
Back in January we started this change, but I think we have always wanted to better ourselves, we just never stuck to it or gave it a valiant effort. But something happened to each of us individually and as a couple that woke us up.... It was time to go forth and become the people we were intended to be.
I love this quote "You were made for more than this...."
We all are. Some of us are just taking longer to realize that awesome power. One might say that we are more reflective, more calm (maybe?), more "'with it." I say, I am just living out loud. I am living with love. We are living ON PURPOSE! We all have a purpose. We all are meant to be this incredible force to be reckoned with!
Backstage at one of my shows at Charlie's one weekend some of the performers and I were chatting about life, etc. After awhile is was getting a little too in depth (since we were all in drag waiting to go on stage) but nonetheless an amazing and inspiring talk! One of the performers could not believe that I meditate in silence every day (I try to every day; I'll get to that later). She kinda laughed and scoffed at this realization. She added "I could never do that. That is just way too hard. I would never be able to do that." My response to her.... "Then you never will." She looked at me surprised. "What?" she asked offended. I said, "If you say you never will than you won't. You have already put that out in the Universe. You have already shut down that possibility of doing that action before you have even given it a valiant effort."
(this whole conversation happened literally within 5-8 minutes, backstage, while changing costumes and waiting to go on stage)
Further inquiries wanted to know how I do this and what exactly I do during this. For me I believe there is no right or wrong way to meditate (*note some people seem to be uneasy with this word meditate. We all do it. Some of us call it prayer. Others call it talking to yourself.) The one thing, though, I explained is that a negative thought or idea can never come across your brain. She (again I say "she" for those of you who aren't familiar with the drag scene....this is actually a guy....a female impersonator. We just call each other that.... among other names!), really thought this was impossible. I told her it was for awhile. Try this. Simply sit for 5 minutes and try to not have a negative thought, worry, negative action come across your brain. It is a little hard, but with practice you will be able to do this.
How long do I do this for? All day long I explained. Really, you might ask? Yes. For 20 minutes, 35 minutes or an hour a day I sit in silence, usually with very soft, quiet meditative music on in the background and release all thoughts. I open myself up to all possibilities for that day and that day only. Not worrying about tomorrow. Not concerned with a fight I had with my partner last night or with a friend 2 months ago. Negativity is EMPTY Energy and I have no place for it in my life! It is wasteful But all day long? Yep. I continually meditate throughout my day. And if I can't physically sit in my living room, candles lit, music on quietly and meditate in the privacy of my own home, then on my way to school I turn my music on and listen to it; meditate and open myself to all possibilities - good or bad. I do not try to predict how my day will go. I do not try to know how someone will react to me when I walk in a room, whether it be friend or enemy. On another note, it is none of my business what you think of me. Novel concept or one we have heard for years? It is none of our concern what other people think of us; none of our business!
The more I consciously do this everyday, my days fly by, I seem to feel happier, better and more reflective. I have not entered the game of being bitchy, gossipy, mean and spiteful. I consciously send out Love, Light and Energy to all.....even those who have done me wrong in my past. Yes, it is hard. Yes, at times I want to yell or Tweet or update my Facebook with a negative comment or something that just happened to me; someone pissed me off. But why...... What is the point in that? YOU are not making yourself any better by doing so. You are not in control of your life when you are doing that.
At a dinner party just a few weeks ago, I sat with five other people. Some were friends whom I hadn't seen in a long time and have not had the chance to sit and chat outside of a bar. I met a knew friend who just seemed to be beaming inside and out! The majority of the conversation seemed to revolve around our lives, changes, challenges, etc. And also what my husband and I have been going through and how we have changed our lives for the better. At one point it felt as if I was in an interview! But it was a great conversation; we all learned from each other. From this, the new person I met that night gave me some amazing books to read he thought I would enjoy per our topic of conversation! I was absolutely touched by this. And a lovely gesture.... I mean, how many times do you go to a dinner party, not gossip, not spread negativity, but learn from each other, share, inspire one another and someone gives you books to read that they liked and thought you would??? I must say that was a first for me. Rockne, I am super pumped to read this books - thank you!
I read a lot. A lot of different books and topics. Yes, I read self-help books! I read books on Kabbalah, the Tao, empowering oneself, Buddha, Eastern cultures, etc. Anything that seems to inspire me; so that I may interpret it for myself not by what someone else's opinion on it is.
The truth is.... I can no longer participate in the negativity game anymore. I fold. I hand in my chips. I am giving you back the $200 for passing "GO." And I am certainly not one to judge, because believe me, Allah, God, Buddha, etc. I actively participated in that game and initiated it many times....spreading hate and lies and negativity. It never did me any good.
I read that the end is just the beginning..... The more I researched this and learned about this concept it made total sense to me and my hubs. A parallel life/Universe is happening. If you want and wish for things, good things, to happen to you and your friends and family, hell, even enemies....put it out there. Give it to the Universe with Love, Light and Energy. The concept is basically all the things you want in you life, all the things we wish would happen; jobs, boyfriends, marriage, etc. All of these things have happened. I no longer think or say "I wish I was or had...." I say, "I Am...." The things in our lives have already happened. It is up to us to learn, battle and fight our way to catch up to those events if we truly want those things.
I was explaining this to a family member who was a bit skeptic due to just fear and the unknown of this.
I summed it up by saying this....
"All things are possible. Not some. Not A through D. Not just a few. Not just these things. All things are possible. I was made for more than this."
What are the possibilities you want to take? Why do you think you are not worth it?
You were made for more than this.....
Always Love, Light and Energy,
Justin xo
